No one knows...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007
no one knows Category: Writing and Poetry
Indeed, no one knows this, but I write....and I mean...a lot....so much that I dont even edit or perfect anything...because something else is being written....some of its poetry, some of it is lyrics without written music...none yet anyways...but anyhow, I've been writing for about 10 years now, and Ive shown only a few people what ive written...only people that I would trust with my life have seen my writing, and thats because it basically is my life, in poetic form...it is my happiness, my failure, my romantic passion, my breakdowns, and my ever consuming depression which ive put my life force into hiding from the world. To me, these are sensitive things to make public. But as it grows more into a creative art, I feel the overwhelming need to share it. Here is one or two or maybe even three of what I have written recently. They are not edited, or perfected; they are exactly what were written at the time. Maybe if anyone has interest, I will start perfecting things, but up until this point, ive had no one to edit or perfect them for. Whether you like them, hate them, or just have a general comment, PLEASE message me, or comment the blog...any feedback is much appreciated... either way...enjoy.


A Hollow World

with every touch you make this harder
to keep this inside
my heart keeps stretching thinner than water
just to know why

everyday, beside me
those beautiful eyes
everyday, lie to me
so hollow inside

why
a question filled with answers
if i could only filter the truth
i could kill these parasitic cancers
and i could wake up next to you

with every touch she makes this harder
to look her in the eye
and keep from saying that i love her
if you could only tell me why

why does the world hide
from passion and spontaneous action
from exploring possibilities with the connection of eyes
that compatibility could be more divine

that theres more to process above your simple mind
that love is a complex bigger than money and time
that the walls of pride are temporary slaves
they only shadow love and create an endless maze

but maybe im the fool
maybe my pain stems from these views
after all, the world seems content
and my minds tortured, on a daily descent


(below is more of a poetic monologue than it is lyrics)
In Despiteful Memory(Written for my best, and upon exit from this life: worst, friend)

the consuming rage and endless discontent
creates a bitter soul that plans his own descent
ones demise can be chosen and executed
when he realizes the tragedy can be eluded

the sick selfishness that is homicide
your not really killing yourself
your killing the dreams in your mothers mind
your killing the love, that to your friends, you lied

you killed everyone you touched
if even for a minute, or a second
your malice now can not be judged
do you think you taught someone a lesson?

you left a coward
the legacy you leave behind
is measured in how much love you devoured
in sick, selfish, homicideyour own suicide


Anybody?

does anybody, feel the way i feel
doesnt anybody, see the truth thats real
does anybody, feel the pain the way i do
doesnt anybody, know that what i know is truth

these blinded guides
smashing their faces
ignoring the demise
the wound easily traces

look in the mirror
see the ugliness you hide
from smashing your faces
when you pretend to be so blind

does anybody, scratch the wounds to never heal
doesnt anybody, understand the pain i feel
doesnt anybody, see the weight of the torture in my soul
nobody, because i swore id never show

the worlds ignorance shines
as bright as the sun blinds
revealing darkness among evil minds
smashing their faces into their own lies

the worlds hate is now mine
not for me to initiate
but to feel deep inside
not to obliterate
but to torture my mind

does anybody, feel the way i feel
doesnt anybody, see the hate they conceal
does anybody, understand my seclusion
everybody understand, my depression is no delusion

my mind is so far from status quo
i refuse to accept these over-sized ego's
i refuse to neglect what my mind sees correct
i refuse to become a hateful hypocrite
with no sense of respect

this sets me far apart
if soul mates share a single heart
how much longer can i survive
until i discover the one who can revive
a lonely, sick and tired soul
growing cold



Love is not a Remedy

love is a word largely misunderstood
even by myself
and i never thought i could
misunderstand a word so pure
but the more i mature
i realize im trying to create a cure
for the madness and confusion
the hates intrusion
for which my mind has ran out of clever illusions
this mirage called love is not a remedy
for the hate i hold for my enemy
the more my hate grows
so does the love i boast
and the person i hate most
is now a mere ghost
or maybe the person as close
as a mirror
never have i thought about this any clearer
why the connection of eyes
can steal my heart in the dark
why i convince myself of these lies
that love is more divine
love is an atrocity
a defense mechanism catastrophe
blinding our own monstrosity